


Circles

by strauberry23



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Marichat Week, Secret Relationship, but it turned long and angsty, day 1: secret dating, day 5: trust me, i wanted to write something short and fluffy, my bad - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-25 08:29:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6187474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strauberry23/pseuds/strauberry23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chat keeps pushing for Marinette to agree to bring their relationship out in the open, but she keeps refusing, until one day she finally breaks (and not in a good way)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. he could never hate her

**Author's Note:**

> For Marichat Week, prompt: secret dating

“But why?” Chat whined. “I want to shout it from the rooftops!” He jumped onto the railing of her balcony, effortlessly balancing on the balls of his feet as he spread his arms as if to encompass all of Paris within them.

Marinette sighed from her place in her chair behind him, her arms hugging her knees to her chest. “You know why, kitty. It’s too dangerous.”

Chat turned around to face her with his hands on his hips, posing like the model he is atop her railing. “As your knight I will stop any dark forces that dare to harm you, princess, you have my word!”

“And as much as I appreciate that,” she shot back, “you shouldn’t have to worry about me all the time. You have superhero duties, and a regular life. You can’t be here 24/7, as much as I would want you to.”

Chat jumped down from his perch, a teasing smile on his lips. “Aw, does my princess miss me when I’m gone?” he questioned as he took her hands in each of his, kneeling in front of her. Her feet fell to the ground in between them, no longer having the support of her arms to keep them up.

Marinette took a long moment to pretend to think before saying, “Purr-haps.”

Chat’s jaw dropped as Marinette giggled. “You stole my line!”

“What, you don’t like it when I pun?” she smirked. 

“On the contrary, princess, I love when you pun,” he said happily before pulling his hands from hers. He folded his arms on her legs, resting his chin on top of them. He looked up at her and said with a low voice, “Especially when it’s a cat pun.”

Marinette reached one hand up to slide her hand through his hair and said teasingly, “So when they’re about you?”

He leaned into her hand, closing his eyes for a moment in pure happiness. “Well of course. I’m claw-some!”

“I think someone is a little self-centered,” she said laughing, poking his nose with a finger from her other hand. 

He shook his head slowly, making sure her hand didn’t dislodge from his hair. “You should know by now that I’m centered around you, princess.”

Marinette gave a short laugh, her hand rubbing his head a little harder to ruffle his hair more. “That was so cheesy.”

“You know you love it.”

They both laughed softly, looking at each other and smiling wide. She continued to run her fingers through his hair, careful to avoid his cat ears. Chat closed his eyes again slowly, concentrating on the magical feeling of her hand. They stayed like that for a while, him kneeling in font of her and her in her chair, the positions one would expect for a princess and her knight.

Chat’s low voice broke the silence. “You never answered my question. Why are we keeping this a secret?”

Feeling her hand stop, he finally opened his eyes and saw her face drawn into a carefully blank expression. He reached up to take her hand from his hair and held it in his. He wanted so badly to speak, to inquire why she went silent, but he knew her well enough to know when she needed a moment to think.

Marinette looked down to where her hand was encompassed by his, his thumb slowly rubbing circles across her skin. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Is this not enough for you?”

Chat tensed, gripping her hand tighter within his. “No no, don’t ever think that!”

She looked up into his now-wide eyes, her own tight around the edges in question. “Then why are you so persistent?”

“Don’t you want more than this?” he asked, raising their hands a little into her field of vision. “I’m tired of hiding from the world like we’re ashamed of each other, of what we are.”

“I’m not ashamed of you,” she defended herself.

“Then _why?”_ he questioned desperately. He wanted to stop slinking around her house like a tomcat, waiting until the coast was clear before he could talk to her. He wanted to be able to tell people that this beautiful, talented, _wonderful_ girl was his girlfriend. He wanted to hold her hand between classes, be able to kiss her when he wanted no matter where they were. He wanted all of her, but for some reason she was holding back, and he needed to know why.

“To have the kind of relationship that you’re suggesting,” Marinette began, “you would need to reveal your identity to me.”

“And as I’ve said, I’m okay with that.”

“But what if I’m not?” she said as she stood up, forcing Chat to throw his hands behind him catch himself from falling. She walked away from him a little, her teeth chewing on her bottom lip as concern covered her features. She folded her arms around her stomach, hugging herself as she paced back and forth within the small confines of her balcony.

He stood up as well and followed her movements with his eyes, very confused and hurt. “You don’t want to know who I am?”

That stopped Marinette dead in her tracks. She whipped around to face him and he tried to hold back the wetness he could feel in his eyes. 

“Of course I do!” she said. “Ugh, that came out wrong…”

“Then what do you mean?” He hated himself for how his voice broke. 

Marinette walked over to him, taking his hands in hers and looking up into his face. “Chat, me knowing your identity could put both of us in danger,” she reminded softly. “If Hawkmoth found out-“

“And I told you,” he said in frustration, “I can take care of him.” He hated how they were talking in circles. He hated how they always came back to this argument. He hated himself for not being able to convince her. He hated this. 

“But what if you can’t?” He looked at her eyes, shining with her own tears and deep concern etched across her features. Concern for him. 

He may hate the situation, but he could never hate her. 

Chat puffed out his chest in a show of bravado, trying to relieve the solemnity of the situation. “Of course I-“

“Chat, be serious!” she shouted. “If Hawkmoth found out we were dating, he would target me. If he ever captured me, he could force me to reveal your identity, and I never want to be the reason why you’re put in danger.”

He stared at her for what felt like an eternity, looking deep into her eyes, making sure she understood just how much he meant his next statement. “I trust you.”

“But-“

“And I hope,” he interrupted, “that you can trust me enough to know what I’m doing. I would never willingly put you in danger, Marinette.”

His hand cupped her cheek, his thumb stroking her soft skin to try and calm her down. She leaned into it, eyes closing tightly to prevent her tears from leaking. She took a deep breath and held it before stepping back, removing herself from his embrace.

His arms chased after her for a moment before dropping, not wanting to force her. 

“I’m sorry, Chat,” she whispered, her voice thick with tears, “but I can’t.”

With that she turned around and walked stiffly to the hatch leading to her bedroom, jumping down and closing it behind her with a noise of finality. She didn’t look back once. 

Chat was left standing there, frozen in place from her comment. He stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, eyes glued to the glass separating them. Eventually it became clear that she wasn’t coming back out so he turned around and leapt off her roof, starting to head home. More tears burned behind his eyes as the same thought ran through his mind over and over again.

_Why am I so good at destroying things that make me happy?_


	2. love without trust is a dangerous thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She hated that she had to do this. “I’m sorry, Chat,” she whispered, her voice thick with tears, “but I can’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back by popular demand  
> and it just so happens to fit the prompt for marichat week, day 5: trust me  
> funny how that worked out

“But why?” Chat whined. “I want to shout it from the rooftops!” Marinette watched as he jumped onto her railing, spreading out his arms in a dramatic gesture. He was always such a drama king. 

Marinette sighed from her place in her chair behind him, her arms hugging her knees to her chest. “You know why, kitty. It’s too dangerous.”

She watched as Chat turned around to face her with his hands on his hips, striking another dramatic pose. “As your knight I will stop any dark forces that dare to harm you, princess, you have my word!”

“And as much as I appreciate that,” she shot back, “you shouldn’t have to worry about me all the time. You have superhero duties, and a regular life. You can’t be here 24/7, as much as I would want you to.” She didn’t mean to say that last part out loud, not because she didn’t mean it, but rather she didn’t want to admit how much she wanted him in her life.

Chat jumped down from his perch, a teasing smile on his lips. “Aw, does my princess miss me when I’m gone?” he questioned as he took her hands in each of his, kneeling in front of her. Her feet fell to the ground in between them, no longer having the support of her arms to keep them up.

Marinette looked up to the sky, taking a long moment to pretend to think before saying, “Purr-haps.”

Marinette giggled, watching Chat’s jaw drop before he said, “You stole my line!”

“What, you don’t like it when I pun?” she smirked, knowing full well that he did. 

“On the contrary, princess, I love when you pun,” he said happily before pulling his hands from hers. He folded his arms on her legs, resting his chin on top of them. He looked up at her and said with a low voice, “Especially when it’s a cat pun.”

Marinette reached one hand up to slide her hand through his hair and said teasingly, “So when they’re about you?”

He leaned into her hand, closing his eyes for a moment. “Well of course. I’m claw-some!”

She couldn’t help but laugh at that. “I think someone is a little self-centered,” she said, poking his nose with a finger from her other hand. 

He shook his head slowly, and she made sure to keep her hand where it was. “You should know by now that I’m centered around you, princess.”

Marinette shook her head and gave a short laugh, her hand rubbing his head a little harder to ruffle his hair more. She loved when it was messy. “That was so cheesy.”

“You know you love it.”

They both laughed softly, looking at each other and smiling wide. She continued to run her fingers through his hair, careful to avoid his cat ears. She watched as Chat closed his eyes again slowly, smiling to herself as she observed his peaceful expression. Marinette never wanted this moment to end. 

But of course, the silly kitty had to bring up the topic that she was hoping to avoid. 

“You never answered my question. Why are we keeping this a secret?”

Her hand stilled in his hair. She thought he had dropped the issue, but apparently not. He was, after all, a very persistent kitty. She had first hand experience with that (endearing) quality.

Chat reached up to take her hand from his hair and squeezed it. Marinette looked down to where her hand was encompassed by his in her lap, his thumb slowly rubbing circles across her skin. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out, trying to sort out her thoughts and find a way to articulate them. “Is this not enough for you?”

Chat tensed, gripping her hand tighter within his. “No no, don’t ever think that!”

She looked up into his now-wide eyes, her own tight around the edges in question. “Then why are you so persistent?”

“Don’t you want more than this?” he asked, raising their hands a little into her field of vision. “I’m tired of hiding from the world like we’re ashamed of each other, of what we are.”

“I’m not ashamed of you,” she defended herself, needing him to know that was the last thing on her mind.

“Then _why?”_ he questioned desperately, looking up at her with hurt and question in his eyes. She had to look away, choosing to look at their hands in her lap instead. His hand almost swallowed her own, they were so large. She never wanted to see that look on his face, and to know that she was the cause of it hurt her more than she could say. Which is why she needed to make him understand that what they had right now was the best case scenario for preventing either of them from getting hurt.

“To have the kind of relationship that you’re suggesting,” Marinette began, “you would need to reveal your identity to me.”

“And as I’ve said, I’m okay with that.”

“But what if I’m not?” she said as she stood up in frustration, needing to remove herself from him. Her teeth gnawing at her bottom lip as she tried to sort out the thoughts that raced through her mind. 

How could he be okay with revealing his identity to her? Sure they were kinda sorta in a relationship now, but for him to trust her this much… it both excited and terrified her. She knew that once he revealed his identity that she would want to tell him who she was even more so than she already did right now. And she wasn’t sure how he would react to his princess being his lady the entire time. She had kept the secret up for too long that if she revealed herself now, his trust in her would surely be broken. 

Marinette hugged her stomach to try and stop the queasy feeling that particular thought had left her with. She didn’t know how to fix the situation, to make it better for both of them-

“You don’t want to know who I am?”

Chat’s hurt and confused voice stopped Marinette dead in her tracks, making her realize in the back of her mind that she had been pacing across her small balcony the entire time. She whipped around to face him and instantly felt horrible for being the cause for the moistness in his eyes. 

“Of course I do!” she said without thinking. Her eyes widened before she buried her face in her hands, unable to look him in the eye. “Ugh, that came out wrong…”

“Then what do you mean?” 

She hated herself for causing the break in his voice. 

Marinette took a deep breath and walked over to him, taking his hands in hers and looking up into his face. She had to make sure he knew that she was being sincere and very, very serious. “Chat, me knowing your identity could put both of us in danger,” she reminded softly. “If Hawkmoth found out-“

“And I told you,” he interrupted her, “I can take care of him.” 

She sighed in frustration and looked down again. She hated how they were talking in circles. She hated how they always came back to this argument. She hated herself for not being able to convince him. She hated this. 

Marinette looked up again into his eyes, knowing that her own were shinning in tears but could not care less. Making him understand was so much more important than keeping tears at bay. “But what if you can’t?” she asked desperately, full of concern for him. 

Chat puffed out his chest in a show of bravado. “Of course I-“

“Chat, be serious!” she shouted, not having the energy to deal with his antics no matter how well meaning they might be. “If Hawkmoth found out we were dating, he would target me. If he ever captured me, he could force me to reveal your identity, and I never,” she said, the edge in her voice overtaken by the raw emotion in her chest, “want to be the reason why you’re put in danger.” 

He stared at her for what felt like an eternity, searching her eyes for something. She didn’t know what. Eventually he found whatever he was looking for because he smiled gently and said, “I trust you.”

Marinette broke a little inside. “But-“

“And I hope,” he interrupted, “that you can trust me enough to know what I’m doing. I would never willingly put you in danger, Marinette.”

His hand cupped her cheek, his thumb stroking her soft skin and eyes looking at her with so much love that she couldn’t process it within her tired mind. She leaned into his hand, eyes closing tightly so she wouldn’t have to look at him anymore. She took a deep breath and held it before stepping back, removing herself from his embrace.

Chat’s arms chased after her for a moment before dropping. She tried to look up into his eyes, but couldn’t bring herself to do it, so she settled on staring at his chest instead. 

She hated that she had to do this. 

“I’m sorry, Chat,” she whispered, her voice thick with tears, “but I can’t.”

With that she turned around and walked stiffly to the hatch leading to her bedroom, jumping down and closing it behind her with a noise of finality. She didn’t look back once.

Marinette collapsed onto her bed, her legs no longer having the strength to keep her upright. She curled into her self, burrowing her face into her pillow as a sob finally shuddered through her chest. This was followed by another and another before the flood poured out of her without restraint. 

She cried even harder, which she didn’t think was possible, when she heard Chat eventually leap off of her balcony. She wished that she could trust him, she really did. But circumstances dictated that she couldn’t trust anyone, not her parents or any of her friends, not even her partner. It was horrible and she hated that it had to be like this. In trying to prevent her and Chat from being in pain she had only ended up making things worse. 

She curled into herself further, hugging a pillow to her chest and rubbing her face into it.

She loved him, but she couldn’t trust him. And that hurt her more than anything. 


End file.
